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I was born in a farmer family of Uttar Pradesh. Though my father was a teacher and he shifted to Delhi from his village but that shift always remained a notional one. Six days prior to any vacation – always start packing your luggage to go to village for the next week, was the hallmark of my childhood. And this was also a quotient of our family attachment to our village or more correctly our roots.
I always preferred identifying myself as a ‘Gaanv ka Aadmi’ i.e. a villager. And I did it proudly. After my completion of 8th class from a school in another village, situated about 7 km away from our village I joined my Delhi school in 9th class. That was the beginning of the first morphing in my life. Here onwards, I started participating mentally in this world, while prior to that, I simply used to exist spiritually and physically.
I write here a few words on this spiritual aspect of my existence which has been there right from my childhood. My maternal grandfathers provided me a necessary psychosomatic infrastructure in the very beginning say at the age of about 4 or 5 years. By the age of 8 or 10 years I went through most of the Indian sacred scriptures including Riğved, Upanishads, Riğved Bhashya Bhumika, Satyarthparkash, Most of the Purañas, Mythical history about Ancient India, Ramayaña and Mahabharata. The books which I liked the most were Mahabharata, Satyarthparkash and Kaŧhopnishad. Probably I could orally recite long stanzas from Mahabharata.
This opened a new horizon of duality before me. Later I found this duality at various levels – e.g. the duality of living and non – living beings, duality of body and mind, the duality of conduct of people, duality of mind and mind, duality of words and actions and lot more other kinds of dualities. At that time as a boy of 8-10 years I did only observe that duality. To a great extent of possibility I did not understand that. I understood it about 30 years later at the stage of my second transformation when I started only witnessing - me and the entities around me.
If a person is at a particular level of personality formation (With all humbleness it is submitted that every person does not possess a personality, it may be replicating other personalities) then he is there as a result of various inputs. My mother made me. My wife maintained me. Had my mother not been in charge of my childhood I would have not been what I am. She is there and will remain there in the tiniest point of mine. She would live in me as long as I live because I am only a small part of her. She carved me out of her mental dimensions. The greatest blessings this universe blessed upon me has been the lap of my mother. That is beyond the knowledge and the comprehension. Being blessed and blissed in my mother’s lap I visualized it for the first time that the languages are not capable of communicating all truths.
After coming to a level it is always an issue to stay there and not to fizzle out therefrom. And my wife maintained me there, where my mother told me after my preparation that I was equipped enough to live boundlessly. My wife sublimed herself. She sublimed herself just to keep me as me. Certainly she is a culmination of her family traditions and takes her share when I bow before that tradition to have gifted me such a nice life partner. I aspire for her for all the futures imagined.
This universal process keeps proceeding in a cyclic way (some western thinkers may have an objection to the word “cyclic” but that will be discussed elsewhere in this collection of thoughts). While paying off our Pitŗa Riña (a debt owed to forefathers) I and my wife educed two small buds. They are pleasing. It is blissful to see them blooming.